Mary Keightley's Blog

We must change how we think about a problem so that we can get a solution. During a coaching session a lady who was going through a fairly acrimonious divorce told me she was not coping. She just wanted to cry all of the time. I asked her what age she was, (she replied 37), I asked her what age she was when she met her husband (she replied 35) I asked her if her mother was alive (she replied yes) I asked her was her mother’s mother, her grandmother was alive (she replied yes) So I said let’s say you live to you are 80! Let’s take a look at the facts. 1. You had 34 years before you met your husband right? (she said right) 2. When you divorce you will be 38 right? (she said right) 3. If you live to you are 80 you will have 42 years after you divorce him right? (she said right). 4. When you are 80 you can look back at your life and know that you lived 3 years with this guy 77 without him. He was a tiny part of your life. Right? (she said right) 5. So remind me what was the problem? (she replied I don’t have one do I?)

It is interesting to watch the debate on what the X factor judges say (the feedback to the contestants) and whether or not this has any influence on the behaviour of the Public vote. Derren Brown hit the nail on the head when he was a guest on the celebrity panel with Holly Willoughby on Xtra factor. He said Louis Walsh said “People don’t like you Danyl, you are not connecting with the public” the next few weeks demonstrated the power of Louis Walsh’s words. The ensuing public and media backlash demonstrated the power of the embedded command “People don’t like you”. This all the more surprising as in Simon’s opinion Danyl is the best singer in the competition and was the hot favourite to win! Louis may not know what NLP is but what he said was an “embedded command” Joe Public was listening and obeyed your instructions. Every word carries meaning, so be careful what you say.

There’s no doubt that unemployment will rise further in 2010, but there’s hope that it will peak somewhat below the 3 million mark. So what if you are one of those individuals who just right now cannot get a job, never mind your dream job? After Graduating Albert Einstein spent almost two frustrating years searching for a teaching post, a former classmate’s father helped him secure a job in Bern, at the Federal office for Intellectual Property, the patent office, as an assistant examiner. He evaluated patent applications for electromagnetic devices. Two years later he was made permanent, although he was passed over for promotion until “he fully mastered machine technology”. It is important that you do not let external economic conditions affect your faith in yourself or your persistence in striving to get the job that you want. Take setbacks on the chin, see them as lessons and stay focused and determined to do what you want to do. Keep an open mind as you take different jobs along the way. But never lose sight of where you are going...

“The Name’s Bond.....James Bond”, everyone is familiar with this infamous introduction by Sir Sean Connery. Following a letter I received in the post recently I may be forced to adopt Mr Connery’s tactics! Miss Keira Knightly, (English actress, Pirates of the Caribbean, Love actually)for the record, well she is not me! However according to a company in Newry they think she is me, I got a marketing letter addressed to:-Ms Keira Keightly at my office address. The address, the postcode, all correct but not my name! At public speaking events I have always been slightly irritated if I am introduced as Mary knightly instead of Mary Keightley (pronounced Keetley). In attempting to explain the faux pa by the company in question who do know me and have my name on their database, (and no doubt will remove if they read this!) I can only suggest that it clearly demonstrates the social phenomenon of the power of celebrity and association on the subconscious mind. We live in an era that has an epidemic of “delusion”. We have swine flu and a new social disease called “celebrityitis”. We feast on Fantasy and wish our lives through “reality TV”. Whilst watching “What katy did next” isn’t detrimental to your health, it is important that you clearly make the distinction that reality TV isn’t “reality” I wonder about the aspirations, productivity and reality check!! Of the unfortunate employee who issued the marketing letter and whose really surname is Farrell, (any relation to Colin??) Does he want to be in Hollywood! (USA) or at his desk in Newry Co Down.